The New Transsexual Press

Suppose i want to posit that i was not, in fact, Born This Way. Queer people have been sold on the idea that their queerness is not theirs to wield but a force unseen, unknown, and unchanging. My understanding is that this ubiquitous belief not only hurts our chances at liberation, but also hurts our most vulnerable.

Most of us have been told to suppress ourselves to please the status quo. We are familiar with the horrors of so-called conversion therapy, and almost all of us remember a time when we toned ourselves down to placate a loved one. Our oppressors insist our proclivities are nothing but sins and there's a simple cure: a joyous skinnydip in God’s all-forgiving light. Trans people are told every day by "well meaning" relatives to wait until the next lifetime for a chance to reincarnate in a body that fits, or to let go of the notion that you have to be a feminine woman or a masculine man, and some go as far as to suggest WE are the ignorant ones for subscribing to these ideals. Therefore we guard our queerness like a mother cat does her kittens. We dare anybody take it from us. We equate ourselves to our queerness. We’re Born This Way.

In my lifetime, i have tried my very best to be something that “makes sense”: A coherent identity that the cisheteropatriarchy can understand. Now i sit comfortably with the fact that i’m an asexual butch lesbian non-binary transsexual woman. To the average conservative, this more than qualifies me a mentally ill member of the alphabet mafia "Why not just be a straight guy?"

I’ll explain: I’m asexual because my perspective is that sex is far from a necessity. Sure, it can be tasty, but i am seldom hungry. And on the occasion that i am hungry, i make myself something to eat instead of dining out. (this analogy is as concise as it gets) I am butch because my expression of womanhood is butch. I am a lesbian because i do not date men. I am still occasionally attracted to men, but i do not date them or fuck them. I am non-binary because i do not subscribe to, nor fit into, a gender binary. I am transsexual because i am in the process of transitioning my sex. Not my gender, (see: non-binary) my sex. I am a woman because i feel like a woman. This is a material reality. No matter what words i use to describe myself, these intentions don't always resonate. I am, by all intents and purposes, treated like a woman. But this essay is not about my gender or sex, i digress. My sexuality however, is decisive. Despite the common narrative that we are animals with carnal needs, i live in the 21st century where i can make choices freely. I am (sometimes) attracted to men but i do not date them, i am a horny pervert but also asexual. On top of this i do not kid myself that sex is something im owed, nor something i need. This is where a lot of you will say "but i need sex!" and i implore you to ask if you're certain. Incels, for example, think sex is something owed them. Are you an incel?